Stole this from wom-bat, though with my username.. it didn't work on any of them haha.. so I just used Jon

Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
A: “Jon needs real women with real sound systems.”

Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
A: "Jon looks like he's deep in thought"

Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
A: "Jon' Says He's Cracked Apple's iTunes Copy Restrictions" (had to use the6th one cuz the first five.. didn't even have the phrase in the result O-o)

Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
A: "Jon Wants To Give You More DRM" (Yep, first I crack it then try to force it on you again)

Q: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
A: "Jon does an amazing flip"

Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
A: "Jon Hates You" (that's right, I hate all of you! >D)

Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search:
A: "Jon asks Bill Gates for a tutorial on the F12 button"

Q: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search:
A: "Jon goes to trial again" (no they caught me!)

Q: Type in "[your name] likes" in Google search:
A: "Jon Likes Bacon" (or beggin strips in a pinch)

Q: Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:
A "Jon Eats Bug Shit" (along with a grasshopper, a vodka-soaked scorpion, and apeshit.. wtf is wrong with all these Jons??)

Q: Type in "[your name] wears" in Google search:
A: "Jon Wears Glasses"

Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search:
A: "Jon was arrested for the attempted murder of a reptilian shapeshifter masquerading as a bear at the Columbus Zoo" (rofl)